or
Life and Inconceivable Adventures of Seosamh O’Ciosain, SSMitW
***
Joey was brought up in tiny flat with no space for pianos or harps... even sax they kept outside, in the mailbox. And he had to play outside, no matter how cruel the weather was. Only on Sundays and holidays they let him play inside – if he was a good boy during the previous week. His parents were into jazz and blues, that's why they made him play sax instead of whistle. There was a huge poster of big band above his bed instead of more fitting pin ups. No ginger ladies by his bed just black guys... His parents were friends of Paul's parents and asked them to make Paul accept Joey for a sax player in his band. The rest of the band were against their new colleague with sax, as they were gonna be a punk band, and imagine a punk band with sax, it's a joke, that's why the first Irish punk band was Radiators, not DC9... just because Joey's parents were friends of Paul's parents, not Chevron's. But very soon Joey conquered the hearts of his new band mates, they discovered that he was a diamond and that fucking sax was his only problem. As for the rest – nobody could fill glasses or light cigarettes as quickly as Joey could.
As regards his usual black outfit – they didn't have hot water at home and accustomed their children to black clothes... since their swadlings, which were black too. Checked shirts were holiday outfit. Thus there is a deep symbolism – when being with his first bands, Joey perceived it as kinda duty (his caring parents arranged it anyway), so he stuck to usual black. Once he joined Shane, he felt as if endless holidays started – so he allowed himself to wear his beloved checked garb.
Joey always wanted to play in a band but the boys didn't want him there...
- Sorry, Joey, but we have no place for you, we have a frontman and we have a guitar player.
- Bass?
- Yes, we have a bass too!
- Maybe a drummer?
- Sorry, Joey, we have two drummers!
- So maybe...
- Yes? What? Keyboard? We have just listened to a nice candidate looks like we'll accept him.
- Are you mocking me? Why do you hate me?
- We HATE you? Don't make us laugh, Joey! We surely love you! You are a great bloke and things but you see we already have a band!
- So no chance for me?
- Well, if you can suggest any other instrument...
- You will take me?
- Surely! You have our word!
- So what about SAX?!!
- Oh. NO!!!
- What? You do not like sax?
- Nah...
- And you don't have it in your band?
- Of coz not!
- Aha! Remember what you've promised! I'll play sax.
- Ouch! Joey, it's too mean even for you...
Being fair, well-behaved Dublin boys (to whom their mums always said "don't lie and don't make promises you cannot fulfill"), they had no other choice than to accept Joey into their band. But they hardly ever let him produce a note. He mostly hanged out on the scene, kinda dancing or rather twitching to music, winking at gals and and casting meaningful glances all around. So he could enjoy all the fun of being in a band, without having to actually do any work.
Moment that made history
One day Seosamh Ó Ciosáin was busking in London underground with his sax and kept having rows with police. So seeing a policeman approaching him, he packed his instrument and hastened away. He was a courier of London Murphia so he preferd to avoid encounters with lawmen.
Spider was breaking his brains, trying to invent a proper name for the band all night long and almost overslept the meeting with the guys in the pub. He rushed through the corridors and platforms of London underground...
... until their paths crossed.
Seosamh bumped into him, knocking clumsy Spider down.
"Hey! What the fuck..." said Spider from the ground.
"Póg mo thóin!!!" answered hastening Seosamh Ó Ciosáin, not even turning, just showing two fingers over his left shoulder.
Getting to the pub where Shane and the rest were waiting for him, Spider (rubbing his back) told them about the encounter and cited that rough bastard. Thus the band got their new name...
Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis... Everything changes, even tastes and/or voices.
Spider took vocal technique lessons, working selflessly and hard, putting all energy which remained after doing his best at whistle (I would say putting the whole soul). Breathing gymnastics, tremolo, glissando, legato... It was not easy, sweat and blood. But perseverance won. Now he is considered to be the best pupil of Mr. Pavarotti... Montserrat Caballe used to flap away tears remembering him... BTW it's him who had to perform Barcelona with Montserrat, but he was too busy in 1993. The Pogues is above all !!!
(In the Wake Of the Medusa, Spider Stacy thread)
The greatest opportunity of Spider’s life lost due to... what? Was he too busy with voice lessons? Quarreling with Joey over wages?
Quarreling over a whistle. Once they overdid it with egg liquor, mixed their wistles and could not agree ever since which one was whose. Joey doesn't mind a honest fight which can put everything into place but as a manager he was not able to risk possible ruination of the only vocalist's good looks. So he said farewell to the band and finally decided to follow Shane. But being noble and generous guy, he (gaining his first salary as Shane's personal assistant) bought a set of whistles (C, D, etc.) and presented them to Spider. They shook hands and sealed restoration of their friendship with another portion of egg liquor. And Joey even signed every whistle! (To Spider with love. Joey C.) Scratched it with a nail... He got the nail from Ronnie Drew, traded it for 2 meters of rope. A nail and a lighter. Shane thought Joey had traded too cheaply. He could have easily got a bottle opener... But he stopped grumbling when Joey impressed him with his mastery in opening bottles with the nail (bending it in the process which made the scribbling onto whistles the more difficult and valuable). Before he got the nail, he performed it with a fork. And when he lost the nail he did it with lighter for a while till he destroyed it, so he had to buy a new lighter and a bottle opener upon getting another salary. Unfortunately, Shane swooped down on both the items and poor Joey was finally left only with his fingernails to finish the demanding task. His fingernails and his resolution to never give up.
"Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan is best known for a lack of teeth - but he's an artist too. He has designed the cover for Lancaster Bombers's debut single Cruelty Boxes."
(The Sun)
As soon as Shane finished his work on the design, he entrusted Joey with the delivery of the future sleeve. On his way to the Bombers' office, Joey lost Shane’s masterpiece but as everything had been sorted out, and the Bombers knew about the new sleeve and were waiting for it, he could not just go back to Shane and answer with traditional "aha" to his traditional "everything is OK, yeah?". So he found a piece of paper (crumpled a bit but it was all he had) and scribbled the title of the single and the band's name on it. He decided that they adore genius and would not complain at all. And he was right! When he brought the masterpiece (by that moment his), the whole band and their manager as one man shouted: "OH!!! It's really GREAT!!!! Huge thanks!!! Long live Shane, the best designer ever!!!" They were saying other flattering things, but Joey already left, with humble smile on his noble face. And a bottle of whisky for the creator under his arm...
From Johnny Depp’s bio:
"Tattoos: skull & cross bones & 'Death is Certain' on right ankle"
From Bloguemahone:
"Joey divests himself of his shirt. The tattoo on his shoulder reads ‘DEATH IS CERTAIN’."
In the wild days of youth... they did it together, after some wild orgy. They got a brilliant idea to seal their brotherhood with a very special and unique tattoo – skull, bones and their motto of the party - 'Death Is Certain'. Joey as the older one in the company bravely stepped in first... and in some uncertain time, he appeared with a brand new tattoo on his left shoulder. Then Depp’s time came. When he was back, he bent, rolled up his trouser leg and showed the tattoo on his ankle... Why on the ankle? Well, he had fallen on the coach that way and the tattoo master decided that it was easier to make a tattoo on his ankle (instead of his shoulder) than to make him move... Much later a myth (there had been no place on shoulders) was born. And yes, Depp really had to cover his shoulders with some trash just to be able to prove the legend. So the other twelve of his tattoos are nothing but an addition to the skull and bones one, the one and only!
Children’s day – annual reason to celebrate, with no age limits. Loving Victoria presented her beloved Irish Treasure with a pair of chic pink socks on that special occassion. But other people were not that lucky. And at such forlorn moments, jealousy can overcome even the gentlest heart...
Joey envied Shane for the lovely pink socks. Badly. He set out on a mission to learn where Vicky got them, intending to share that knowledge with his current babe and charm her into buying them for him. But then he decided to go for a different strategy – to charm the shop-assistants with his bare feet, so they would give him all the socks in stock for free. Playing a hippie. Flower in his hair... Shane's motley shirt... bellbottomed jeans... Pockets full of pot and mouth full of words of love.
"Make socks, not war!"
Well, actually: "Male Socks, Not Worn!" It was a request, but his mouth was full of words of love, so it sounded like 'make socks, not war'.
The girls behind the counter explained that they didn't make socks. They sold them. So he had to spit all of his love words away and repeat...
"Fyezall, male socks, I say, you cunts, not worn, damnit!"
(The transcription misses cupla f* words but who would bother with counting them.)
And that was when the shop assistants recognized their prince charming and gave him all he wanted. And even more...
A kick in the arse?
No – braces!!!
Ole Red Eyes puts Ole Blue Eyes in the shade
Sunday Independent, 24th April 2005
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells was presumably delighted to see Shane MacGowan in town last weekend. The sherry-sipping locals needn't pack up their tweeds and leave just yet. The hedonistic hellraiser - and Ireland's greatest songwriter, according to Bono - has no plans to move into the area. Shane was merely attending his sister's wedding at the Spa Hotel there. Stunning Siobhan married her long-term boyfriend, Anthony Hayes, in a private ceremony for family and close friends...
No mention of Joey... and no mention of Maurice either...
They were both heading to attend the glorious occasion. Joey was rushing there with a present (in the form of a bottle) in one hand and magnificent white bouquet in the other. No bouquets in Maurice’s hands, and the bottle he intended to give as a present to the happy couple had already been drunk by the bearer. Long journeys make people thirsty... So all that was left was a handkerchief in his pocket... and a sharp knife in his boot. He intercepted Joey somewhere on his way to the destination. Being a generous man at heart, troubled about coming empty-handed to the wedding, he offered him a fair exchange – his trusty knife for the present. Joey refused, reasonably remarking that one could not drink a knife but a bottle of excellent old wine – easily. Maurice’s temper flared. He lunged at Joey, going for his throat, breaking the bottle of wine in the process. Finally, he smacked him over his head with the flowers and left him lying half-unconscious on the road, with the magnificient white bouquet next to him. Children rushing to the wedding to pelt the happy couple with blossoms thought he was dead and lit a candle at his feet... and took his watch. When small birds started singing on an ivy branch, Joey came to his senses. Since he was a true connoisseur, it grieved him sore to see such a fine bottle of such a good wine broken into shards, the contents soaking into the proud land of his fathers. It broke his heart and was enough to disable him for a week, making him forget about preparing gigs, booking flights... and kicking the Irish Treasure to perform.
More kicks than pricks
The Christmas before last, they [Podge and Rodge] invited Shane MacGowan on their show. Being a man who is not easily embarrassed, and also having nothing to hide, he agreed to do it. But in all our years together I have never seen him as nervous as he was in the days leading up to his appearance on their show. By the night before, he was physically shaking with nerves, and admitted it. He also admitted to kicking the puppeteers in the heads under the table, while they were recording, in a deliberate act of revenge.
(Sunday Independent)
After such stunning revelation one can imagine what a humble PA lives through. Which may explain one of the thickest mysteries shrouding the manager – namely the mystery of his birthday. Due to all the kicks he used to get in the head (and not only there) he himself has forgotten the date. Caring friends would present him with a helmet but no birthday – no presents.
There are two postulates that could shed dim light on the problem of dating but actually they only muddle it further. We mean the well-known theories about the manager being a cancer and the manager being older than his famous client. Both of them owe their circulation to Shane.
Shane so often repeated "you are cancer on otherwise healthy body of the band" to his manager that not only he but all the people around started to believe the manager saw the light on one of lovely summer days. Or nights. The second myth was born when Shane asked one of the obnoxious journalists to contact his PA because he is Shane's "elder bro". The journalist quoted it. The manager liked it as he saw it not only as a hint at Shane's recognition of his seniority but a reverence to his wisdom. Nobody knows what Shane really meant trying to get rid of the journo. It could have been nothing but "alter ego". Shane is so hard to decode.
photos © unknown